Never Knowing
by SexySmithy
Summary: Co-written with JoJo2604. Hurt, pain and disappointment is something that has always come naturally to Dale Smiths life, so when a chance to be happy and finally have something he never has before, he grabs it with both hands, without thinking about the consequences of his actions maybe never knowing the happiness he could have would of been the better option.
1. Chapter 1

_Hello people, this story is a complete joint effort from both myself and Jodie (JoJo2604), it has been emailed back and forth over the last two weeks and we have spent a lot of time talking on the phone so I hope you think it was worth all our hard work, you can always leave us a review and let us know? Anyway I don't really know who the idea originally belongs too but it was one we both loved and we have big ideas for it, we both really enjoyed writing it and hope you enjoy reading it._

_Just on a quick note, this story will be uploaded on my page and we will continue this way, purely because Jodie has a lot of unfinished work and she felt it was better to keep her already established stories her main priority. _

_Anyway thanks for reading me rambling on, here is our story, hope you enjoy it. _

* * *

He watched from afar as the blonde DS took another sip of her vodka and coke. Her short blonde curls bounced softly round her face, her leather jacket swung over the back of the chair she had rested herself into since arriving in the pub some twenty minutes earlier. She had on light grey jeans met by a wine coloured halter neck top. Her eyes had remained focused on her drink and he was unsure on quite what he was meant to think as he stared at her saddened face. The pub was filled with his work colleagues and although that was nothing unusual, tonight nothing any of them said registered with him, he was too caught up in what was bothering the small blonde he had become all too fond of. He swallowed another mouthful of his beer and sighed as he kept his eyes trained on her, over the years they had become close, he had never had things easy but when he was with Stevie everything changed, his whole outlook on life was different and he felt happy, something he had rarely felt around other women and in fact something that had never been an easy emotion for him to portray. The barmen headed over and he ordered himself another drink and one for her as well and as he paid the barmen he had no idea what he was going to say to her, he hated to see her hurting, he knew already her happiness and bubbly persona was catching but to see her sad was just as bad and something he wasnt sure he could handle. He headed over and placed the drink in front of her, a smile slowly took over his face and he gestured to the seat opposite her "Can I?" he asked softly.

"Of course Smithy-" she replied, her voice not much above a whisper "I can't promise I will be the best company"

"I don't believe it" he spoke as he sat down opposite her "Whats up?" he asked watching as she took a sip of her drink and she let out a sigh and shook her head to dismiss his question. "I have had a crap day un'all Stevie" he gulped back a mouthful of beer before he continued "I had to charge a boy of eleven for murder-"

"I heard-" Stevie interrupted him "I blame the parents-"

"His Dad had been beating him, abusing him for seven years, it was a really harrowing case-"

"I can imagine Smithy, are you ok?"

"I wasn't that involved in it, Jo was running it, I just helped when needed, so you going to tell me whats up?" he asked, she smiled at him as she took another sip of her drink, before placing the glass to the table, she ran her fingers round the rim of the glass and he could tell she was struggling over her words "Stevie?" he prompted her and she smiled

"Do you ever feel like something is missing?" she asked.

"Not really-" he answered "I have my job, ya'know, everything else just causes me problems" he took a sip of his drink "I much prefer to stick to what I know, what are you missing?" he asked. He watched as she lifted her drink to her lips and she took the smallest sip before returning it to the table, her tongue slowly licked her lips in an attempt to moisten them before she allowed the man she deemed her closest friend to know her innermost feelings, he lifted his drink to his lips as she leant forward to him, to whisper her deep dark secret.

"I want a baby-" she began, he choked on the mouthful of his drink in his attempt to talk and swallow at the same time, he coughed as he tried to catch his breath "Smithy are you ok?" she asked, she was worried but she couldn't help but smile to herself at the show he had put on.

"A baby?" he spluttered eventually and she nodded "Stevie do you understand what you are saying?" he asked

"I know it wouldn't be a walk in the park but I see all my friends settling down, getting married and having kids and I have always said, its fine, I have my career and I am happy just progressing myself professionally but-" a tear rolled down her cheek and he sighed slightly pushing up from the chair he had rested into and moving next to her, wrapping his arm round her shoulders "I'm thirty-four Smithy, I am not getting any younger and its something I really want"

"I am sure you can find a man, ya'know willing to give you a good time-"

"And what ever else comes with it-" she interrupted "I could end up with anything, I have always been so careful and besides I don't want to ruin some poor sods life by giving him an unwanted child anyway"

"So what are you planning to do Stevie?" he asked

"I really don't know. I see these people, like that animal at work today, they don't deserve children and then there's me, I would give a baby everything, it would never go without but I just can't because I don't want to commit my life to a man who will most probably end up treating me like dirt before running off with his secretary" Smithy frowned and she sighed as she wiped her eyes "It's what my Dad did".

"Not all men are like that-"

"I know what men are like Smithy, I have dated enough of them-"

"That because you go for the wrong type Stevie, there are men who would worship you, treat you like royalty and give you any thing and everything you dreamed of-"

"Where are these men?" she asked a grin smothering her features

"Usually closer than you think" he replied, she glanced up at him, her watery eyes sparkling at him through her long eyelashes and he coughed self consciously "Or-" he continued "Just around the corner" he stated "This time next year you could be all settled down with the man you have been dreaming about-"

"Is Daniel Craig about to walk through the door then?" she asked and he smirked at her

"You know what I mean Stevie-" he paused "There is a man out there who will be perfect for you, you just need to open your eyes and find him-"

"That still don't help with a baby-"

"Are you serious about that?"

"More than anything, I have never been this serious about anything-"

"It could ruin your career Stevie"

"I would give it all up, I have enough savings to see me through the first few years-"

"And then what?" he asked

"I could do part-time, find a nanny, it could work-"

"Then do it, if you are sure it is what you want"

"There is one little thing missing-" she smiled and he smirked down at her "I am missing the vital ingredient, unless?" she let her eyes drag over his body and he laughed

"You are joking?" he asked, a smile traced her soft lips and she sighed "Yeah, I mean I can't imagine you being the cutest of babies-"

"I'll have you know I was a beautiful baby-"

"What went wrong?" she giggled and he pushed her slightly, he stared down at her and he couldn't help the smile on his face, it was an impulse when he saw her smile

"I prefer it when you are happy-" he kissed the top of her head and she glanced up at him and smiled once again "You know one day you will have a baby and it will be perfect-"

"I am starting to really doubt that Smithy-"

"You know I would, ya'know, but it could completely destroy our friendship and I am not sure I am cut out to be a father-"

"You will be an amazing father-" she interrupted him "And I know, I am not judging you for not wanting to father my baby, you are my boss Smithy, it would hardly go down well would it?"

"It's not that, that bothers me Stevie, it's just you and me having a baby together, could you imagine?" he smiled slightly as her lips sipped at her drink once again "I mean, we can't just jump into bed together-"

"There are other ways, I have looked into it-"

"Jesus Stevie, you are serious about this, aren't you?"

"Pretty much, it costs a bit of money, I am looking at it setting me back a good few grand at least but like I said, I have savings-" she paused as he took a large swig of his beer, she bit onto her bottom lip and smiled at him "I can go to a clinic and they have donors but I wouldn't know who the father was and that's something I don't think is a good idea-"

"And that's the reason it's not a good idea-"

"Ya'know I thought you would understand and at least be sympathetic but just forget it-" she swallowed back the remainder of her drink and grabbed for her leather jacket before storming towards the pub doors. She moved over to a bench and sunk onto it, she began to search through her handbag for her phone, intent on getting a taxi and arriving home as quickly as possible. Today had been a difficult day and all she wanted was to curl up in bed and think about the disaster that she could call her life. "Can I have a taxi please-" she began down the phone "As soon as possible-"

"I will walk you home-" his voice interrupted her and she turned to see him stood with his jacket swung over his shoulder and his other hand resting in his jeans pocket, he stared at her, he looked so nervous and she nodded slightly before hanging up and rising to her feet and making her way to him, he wrapped her into his arms and kissed her head gently "I am sorry Stevie, I never meant to sound like I didn't care-"

"I know-" she pulled from him and smiled "This is important to me though Smithy and I am going to do it-". They began to walk down the road in the direction of her home

"Yeah I know Stevie and I want to help you-"

"What?" she interrupted

"But I have rules and we need to have a long chat before we make any final decisions and if I do this, I am not going to stand back and watch you raise my child, I want to be involved". She stopped on the spot and stared up at him and he turned back to face her "I mean, that is if you deem me fit to be your babies Dad, because if you would rather take your chances on a stranger-" she moved into his arms and hugged him tight. She placed her hand onto his face and grinned

"You are an amazing man Dale Smith and-" she paused as she stared at him, tears rolling down her cheeks "I really don't know what to say-"

"Then don't say anything, let's get back to yours and do some research find out how we get started" he knew this wasnt his brightest idea and becoming a father wasnt the top of his list of priorities but he wanted to make Stevie happy and he knew one day he would want to be a father so why not now, with the most perfect woman in the world.

"Thank you Smithy, you have no idea how much this means to me".


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you to anyone who reads and especially those who take the time to leave us a review. This chapter has taken us some time I know but we got there eventually, enjoy peeps! x**

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Chapter Two

Four Months Later

Stevie paused outside the mans bedroom door and glanced in at his sleeping form, he looked so peaceful and she couldn't help but think how much harder their lives would be after today. It was six thirty on a sunny morning in May and they had agreed it best for Stevie to stay the night at his home with their appointment at seven-thirty and she had instructed him that under no circumstances could he be late, so he had suggested her sleeping in his spare room. His house had such a homely feeling to it and the idea of her child spending time here made her even more sure of her idea at Smithy being the father. They had decided it best not to tell anyone of the huge change they were planning on making to their lives, it terrified her the idea of someone telling him he was ruining his life and why would he want to tie himself to a woman and a baby and him believing it and changing his mind, so when he had suggested keeping it between them for the time being she couldn't have been more relieved. He stirred slightly and she watched him wriggling in the bed. She smiled, he was such a lovely man and she couldn't help but eye his near to naked body, he was gorgeous too and she couldn't help but wonder what a child he fathered would look like. She headed into the room and sunk on to the bed, resting the cup of tea to the bed side table before placing her hand to his arm and moving into his ear "Wakey wakey sleeping beauty" she whispered. She glanced round the room as he continued to sleep, he had shirts hanging in the open wardrobe and she rose to her feet and moved over to them, running the material through her fingers. She glanced round the room before moving to some photos hanging on the wall, she glanced at each frame, smiling at a small photo of the two of them at the staff christmas party a few years ago, her first year at Sunhill in fact, her and Smithy had been undercover earlier in the year and they had become close. She had never had a true male friend like him, with the exception of Mickey but their friendship was something she would have imagined with a sibling. Smith had never been like that, she had always had a flirty relationship with him and their friendship had sparked many rumors over the last few years. She glanced down and into a cabinet draw that was open and lifted the photo of the woman out, the photo was burnt and had clearly spent a lot of time being looked at, it was worn and the colour faded but Stevie couldn't help but stare at the woman in the photo, she knew who she was, Smithy had spoken about her on many occasions, Louise Larson, it wasnt something he found easy to talk about but then their friendship was more than a normal one between colleagues.

"You got a search warrant?" his voice was thick with sarcasm and she spun to face him, he was sitting up in the bed, his drink attached to his lips and he rose his eyebrow at her as she placed the photo to the cabinet, he placed the cup back down and licked his lips, he looked nervous, she wasn't sure of that was to have her in his room at this time in the morning, wearing only her pyjama shorts and vest or whether it was because of the life changing day ahead of them.

"Are you ready for today?" she asked

"Yeah-" he replied "I havent ever done it in a cup before" he laughed. She giggled before moving over and resting down next to him on the bed "You know we could skip all this process and have a go at doing it the natural way" he nodded to the bed and she frowned, he laughed loudly "I am joking Stevie".

"Thank God"

"You don't have to sound to relieved Stevie" he grumbled

"I'm sorry, it's just you and me. Really?"

"Course not. I need a shower and we need to get a shift on-"

"Yes we can't be late, today is a big day-" he leant forward and placed a kiss to her head

"First day of the rest of our lives" he pushed from the bed and she tried to divert her eyes but found herself watching as he headed out of the room. She smiled before rising to her feet and heading back over to where she had put the photo down, he had such a hard time when it came to love and she was going to give him something that would love him unconditionally and she wanted to make him happy. She headed out of his bedroom and towards his spare room intent on getting ready for the day ahead.

* * *

Stevie glanced round the room, Smithy had entered his part of the process about twenty minutes ago and she wondered briefly how long it actually took him to complete the task. It had been three weeks since they had been for their medical and this was the last part of the ongoing process, although today would be a very long day and she wasnt due to have her part of the process until three hours later, after the cleaning and preparing process. She watched the door with anticipation knowing what was going on behind the closed-door thrilled her slightly but the fact he was doing his part to create their child made her happier than she had been in a long time. She rose to her feet and moved over to a notice board with different signs pinned to it, mainly about the process and what to expect next, she glanced at a couple sitting in the far corner, thinking about the different people who must go through the clinic every day and the stories behind their reasons, some in a similar situation to her and others with fertility problems or maybe even same-sex couples, all with their own reasons for doing this. "All done" the voice interrupted her thoughts and she turned to face him

"How was your date?" she asked mockingly and he smirked

"Best in a long time. You fancy a tea?" he asked and she nodded slightly before swinging her bag over her shoulder and following him towards the door, he pushed it open and allowed her to pass through before him.

"We need to think about names and things?" she suggested and he frowned down at her

"Stevie they havent even-" he smirked as he leant into her ear "Inserted my specimens"

"I love it when you talk dirty" she giggled and he pushed her slightly "I just wondered if there was any names you had in mind?"

"I don't know, it's a long way off-"

"What about Dale if it's a boy?"

"No chance-" he pushed the next set of double doors open and continued down towards the hospital canteen "I like Toby"

"Toby?" she questioned

"Do you not?" he asked and she shook her head and turned back to face him

"Marlow"

"It sounds more like a dog-"

"Toby could be a dog" she stated and he sighed "How about I name it if it's a boy and you name it if it's a girl-"

"You don't know the names I like for a girl-"

"What do you like?"

"Erin" she smiled and he nodded slightly as they arrived at the canteen, he stopped suddenly pulling her back, she turned to frown up at him and he nodded his head over to a table

"Old bill" he stated and she glanced over to Nate, Mel and Callum resting at the small table in the corner of the room. "What are they doing here?" he asked and she shrugged her shoulders "We will have to go back to the clinic and forget the tea-"

"Why?" she cut in "Just tell them we are visiting a mutual friend". He shook his head and turned away, she could hear him mumbling about it being easier to just walk away but she turned and strolled into the canteen. Making her way to the tea machine she began to get herself a drink, he was behind her in a few seconds and she felt his hand touch her back "Tea?" she asked

"Do you ever do a thing you're told?" he smirked down at her

"Nope-" she replied "But that's why I am so amazing" she giggled before making his drink.

"Morning-" they both turned swiftly to the man behind them "What are you two doing here?" he asked

"Morning" they replied in unison before Smithy turned to face him "We are here visiting someone, what are you lot doing here?" he asked

"Brought a rape victim in" Callum sighed "There is just to much of it these days". Stevie headed over to the table of their colleagues and Smithy went to move past the uniformed man "Real reason?". The Inspector turned back to him

"What?"

"Why are you two here at this time in the morning on your day off?"

"We have come to visit a friend"

"I don't believe you" Callum stated

"It's a good job I aint on trial then" Smithy smirked before moving to the table.

* * *

Arriving at her small flat later that evening she pushed the key into the lock and allowed them both inside. After the process Smithy had treated them both to a lovely dinner at a Chinese restaurant, he'd been thrilled to have his first beer in a month after she had informed him it could affect his donation and she had sat quite content, listening to him ramble on about anything and everything. She gestured into the living room and smiled "Make yourself at home, I will stick the kettle on". He headed into the room before she made her way into the kitchen. She read through some of the information the midwife had given her, explaining what she could expect and how to deal with any problems over the next few weeks. She read over the words again and again, trying to take in the fact she could now be pregnant and to top that off it would be with her best friends baby. She jumped as his hands wrapped round her waist and he rested his head on to her shoulder "A baby Smithy, we are going to have a baby". He kissed her cheek before pulling back from her and leaning on to the kitchen side, glancing round the bright yellow kitchen

"Just don't pin all your hopes on this Stevie, it's not guaranteed"

"I know but-" she reached up to get some cups, pushing on to her tip toes "Its exciting" she felt him lean over her shoulder and grab two cups

"Why keep something you use so often in such a difficult place for you to reach-" he smiled as she turned to him "But then you can't keep everything on the floor" she pinched his chest and he smirked "Go and put your feet up, I will make the tea".

She rested down on to the sofa and placed her hand to her slim stomach, she had never imagined herself as the maternal type and thinking of the space her baby could begin to grow, ten fingers and ten toes, a beautiful little baby, tears began to run slowly down her cheeks, she covered her face with her hands and smiled to herself she felt so emotional, but it was with happiness, everything was starting to make sense.

"Are you ok?" his voice startled her and she glanced up from under her hands. He placed the cups to the table and smiled at her gently before resting down next to her and running his hand under her eyes, removing the black stains from her mascara "Stevie, whats happening?" he asked, she could see his concern "Have you had second thoughts?". She laughed and confusion covered his features

"I'm happy Smithy. I am so happy". He sat back into the seat and sighed as he rested his head on to the back of the sofa and covered his eyes.

"Jesus Stevie" he glanced down at her and laughed "You really had me worried then, I thought you were about to kick me out"

"Never Smithy, you are hopefully my babies Daddy"

"Hopefully" he pulled her into his chest and kissed the top of her head "I hope it's a boy, I don't know if the world can cope with two Stevie Moss's" she glanced up at him and smirked

"You couldn't live without me". She leant up and pecked his lips gently before leaning forward to the table and gripping her cup "This time next year we could be parents Smithy, how amazing is that?" she grinned before snuggling into his body further, he was the most amazing man, her best friend and the father of her baby, could things ever be more perfect?


End file.
